The Law of the Jungle Gym
by Dreamchasereternity
Summary: Kurama gets arrested and put on trial for ruining the circus. Autumn and Flash volunteer to be his lawyers. Hiei becomes a Jester. Evil high heeled shoes of DEATH plot against Autumn and Flash. The return of the rubber chicken of chickeny DOOM. And lots,
1. The Law of the Jungle Gym

Dream: HIII. Wheeeeeee! Action of giggling insanely.

Zero: First of all, you do not say 'action of giggling insanely'; you're supposed to _actually_ giggle insanely...

Dream: Yeah, but the stupid quick edit system in doesn't let you put action mark things anymore...

Zero: True, true...Anyway, why so happy?

Dream: Takes deep breath.

Zero: Stop announcing your actions!

Dream: Glares and plots embarrassing doodles of Zero.

Zero: v.v Get on with it.

Dream: Well...I had this dream this one time that Winter and I were lawyers and Winter was all 'meh' so I told her about it and as usual when something odd slash funny happens we wound up creating fanfic ideas out of it so I'm writing a fanfic where Autumn and Flash have to be lawyers to help cheer Winter up and because it's cool so I started writing and I was all 'Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' only not so many e's and I think I said more 'cuz you were all 'RARRRRR! I am an EVIL dragon that doesn't like people being happy because I am EVIL and such so EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!' and then I was all 'Meep! Don't hurt me for I am friends with God!' and you were all 'EAT' and Winter was all 'Noooooooo! Now I'll never get my fanfics!' and you were all 'burp' and I was all 'Dead' and Winter was all 'Attack!' and this weird swirly portal lady from Excel Saga (which I do not own) was all 'Zero! You mustn't eat the fanfic author! I will reset everything so that this does not happen!' and then she was all 'POOF' and then I was all 'Yay! I'm a llama again! (Don't own Emperor's New Groove)' AND THEN-

Zero: ARRRRGH! That's the LAST time I _ever_ do an author's note with you! I'm just going to say the disclaimer and start the fanfic so that the readers won't witness the horribly violent scene of me beating some sense into Dream. Ahem. Dream doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Yoshihiro Togashi does. Winter owns Flash a.k.a. Lioness and Hinote a.k.a. Vlad is property of EternalBlackNight. Now go read your fanfic.

Dream: Meep...Help...Cowers in fear of the PMS-ing dragon...

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**The Law of the Jungle Gym**:

It was a bright and stormy summer evening when a group of close friends were chasing down a demon in a New York town. There were four of them: two girls and two boys. The chase led them to a local stadium where the circus was going to be performing in a few days. They hesitated at the entrance to the circus. Or rather, the redheaded boy hesitated. The others were more than willing to break in.

"This isn't a good idea; we'll get caught and put in jail."

"Stop being such a pansy, Kurama. God doesn't get jail time!" A girl with layered black hair and silver bangs rolled her golden eyes.

The other boy, who had spiky black hair with a white starburst in the front and red eyes scoffed, "What about that time earlier in the year, Flash?"

"That was _one_ time, Hiei! One time! And besides, I didn't go to jail."

The final member of the group, a girl with dark brown hair and stormy blue eyes who was wearing black feathery cat ears covered her mouth with her hand and snickered, "Yeah, but you had to baby-sit lots of little children who climbed all over you and made up sickeningly cute nicknames for you for months!"

Flash glared daggers at her friend, "Autumn...! Remember commandment 4534F! Thou shalt not anger God! Now let's just break into this circus, find that stupid little demon, and get out of here. I need some coffee..."

"Ok Schnooklebee." Autumn grinned.

Flash began twitching uncontrollably. Hiei sighed and kicked open the door. He then walked inside. Flash glared at Autumn, "You got lucky this time, _mutt_...but God will have her revenge! God _always_ gets her revenge...Remember Kurama's cousin Larry?"

"...I don't have a cousin named Larry..." Kurama furrowed his brow in concentration

Flash nodded, "Not anymore you don't."

Kurama blinked as he followed Flash and Autumn inside, "No...I'm pretty sure I never had a cousin Larry..."

"Shh! You'll give away our position to the enemy!" Autumn hissed.

Hiei hopped off of a storage crate, "The demon must be cloaking itself, I can't locate it."

"Silly good for nothing pimple..." Autumn growled, referring to Hiei's third eye.

Hiei glared, "What was that, fox?"

"Eh...'Jolly good! Nothing fun's simple'? Eh heh...heh..." Autumn smiled widely at her fire demon friend.

Flash snapped her fingers to get their attention. "Alright, here's the plan. Autumn you cover the area that way. Kurama you go in this direction. Hiei, you keep watch from atop those barrels and if you see any danger, bird whistle to get their attention."

"But I don't know how to bird whistle..." Hiei protested.

"...Can you go baa like a sheep?" Flash asked.

Hiei blinked, "Yes but what does that have to do with...?"

"Excellent! So if Hiei spots danger he will baa like a sheep alerting Autumn and Kurama to danger so they can run like scared little kangaroo rats." Flash nodded.

Kurama scratched his head, "If Autumn and I are searching for the demon and Hiei's keeping watch, where are you going to be?"

"Starbucks. Watching all of God's creations screw their lives up so badly makes God exhausted. God needs caffeine."

"But..." Kurama began to protest.

Flash held up a hand, "Eh eh eh! Every second you spend protesting against the role in life that God has assigned to you, God takes away money from your paycheck. Now get moving. That demon's not going to catch itself, you know."

Kurama sweat dropped as Flash turned and walked away. Autumn stared at him in awe, "You get a paycheck?"

"Let's just find this demon and get out of here." Kurama sighed and started walking around. Autumn did the same and Hiei jumped up onto the storage crate.

Autumn was walking around looking at the animals. She smiled when she saw a monkey in a magenta tutu sitting in a cage with a dazed expression on its face. There were flies swarming around it. "Monkey!"

The monkey looked at her and pulled back its lips to show off its teeth. Autumn grinned wider, "Aww...I love you, too, Monkey. Here, let me just let you out of there..."

After opening the door, the monkey jumped out of the cage onto Autumn's head. It started screeching loudly and beating at Autumn with its fists. Autumn started screaming and flailing her arms wildly while stumbling about. She managed to unknowingly open some more cages with her flailing. Soon there was a big crowd of wild animals running around and making a mess of the place. "THE MONKEY WANTS MY BRAIN! DEAR GOD, IT WANTS MY SQUISHY INNARDS! _MY INNARDS!_"

Hiei slapped his forehead with his hand, "I had a feeling leaving her unsupervised was a bad idea..."

The fire demon paused before flinching in pain from having hit his Jagan eye. He then glanced over to see how Kurama was doing. The kitsune was looking in some old chests full of costumes for the demon. He picked up a hat that reminded him of the big feathery hat that a pirate captain might wear. He put it on his head and continued looking. Before he was able to react, a flock of newly freed Ostriches stampeded into him.

Kurama managed to climb onto one of them after getting trampled and kicked around. He clung to the bird's neck for dear life as the Ostriches ran circles around the whole storage arena. At one point he caught a glimpse of monkeys swarming all over Autumn while she screamed nonsense about her squeedlyspooch. Since Kurama was looking at Autumn, he didn't see the trunk in time to duck.

"OOF!" yelled the fox-boy as he was lifted from his noble Ostrich and brought face to face with the elephant who owned the trunk which had wrapped around his waist. He laughed nervously, "Well, hello there..."

Kurama swore that he could see a heart materialize above the elephant's head as she looked at him. He was then lifted high into the air as the elephant made a noise of glee and began to dance with him. "Waaa! I have a girlfriend! In fact, here she comes now!"

"MONKEYS! MONKEYS ARE EVERYWHERE! MY ORGANSSSSSS!" Autumn screeched as she ran by with monkeys clinging to her and more monkeys chasing after.

Kurama sighed, "I really shouldn't deny Autumn because she's being attacked by monkeys but..."

"_Keep away from my organs you filthy banana eating monkey scum!" _Autumn then proceeded to jump out the nearest window.

"...I've never seen that girl before in my life..."

Suddenly, over all the commotion, Kurama heard a noise which made his adrenaline start pumping faster. "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"The signal...! Please, put me down! I have to run away!" Kurama pleaded.

The elephant's eyes grew dark with anger at being rejected. She started shaking Kurama violently before throwing him into the arms of a waiting police officer. The officer quickly cuffed Kurama while he was stunned. When Kurama's head stopped spinning his eyes widened. _Oh no..._

_ 'Nice work, Shuichi. Now we'll be stuck in prison...or worse, babysitting!' _Youko scolded.

Flash nearly dropped her coffee as she saw the huge crowd of people gathered outside the circus building. As she got closer, she saw the police officers and animal control workers. She spotted Hiei near one of the police cars and walked over. Pushing past people, she saw an officer kneeling next to Autumn who was wrapped in a blanket and holding it close. She was shaking and one of her wide eyes was twitching, "Monkeys...monkeys everywhere...the horror..."

"Oh my Me! What happened?" Flash asked.

Hiei looked at her with a blank expression, showing he didn't care. The officer looked up at her, "Do you know this girl?"

"Yeah, she's my friend. What happened here?"

The officer pointed to the building. "It seems a crazy person let all the animals out of their cages and the monkeys broke the window and attacked your friend here while she was innocently passing by."

Flash narrowed her eyes at Autumn and mumbled, "Yeah, I'll bet she was innocently passing by..."

"What was that?" The officer asked.

Flash spoke louder, "I said 'That's awful'. Do they know who did it?"

"It was that boy there." The officer pointed as his fellow officers led the handcuffed Kurama to one of the patrol cars and put him in the back seat.

Hiei smirked, "Oh yes, he _does_ look like an animal releasing maniac..."

"Well, thank you for taking care of my friend. I should get her home as soon as possible." Flash put a hand on Autumn's shoulder.

"The Monkeys! Oh God! The monkeys! EEEEIYAAAAAH!" Flash knocked the screeching girl unconscious with the sheath of her katana.

The officer watched in silence as Hiei was forced to pick up the unconscious girl. Flash waved before the two of them walked away.

**The Next Morning**:

Autumn was sitting in Flash's basement holding an icepack to the bump that had formed on her head while flipping through TV channels. Yusuke and Kuwabara were playing a game of ping pong with Hinote. Hiei was watching. Hinote grinned, "Oh, I am _so_ beating you guys!"

"Damn it, that's the fifth time! Why can't we beat you?" Yusuke asked angrily.

Hiei sweat dropped and threw a ping pong ball at him, "Well, it would help if you guys actually took a ball and _played_ instead of taking Hinote's word for it."

Kuwabara and Yusuke stared at the ball. They then opened their mouths in a silent 'Ooooh'. Hinote pouted, "Aw man, you ruined all my fun."

Flash walked downstairs stretching and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She stopped with her hand in mid rub and stared through one eye at all her friends. "...What the hell are all of you doing in my basement!"

"Whaat? You mean my house didn't grow a basement overnight? Darn...And here I thought my house was magical and cool..." Autumn pouted.

"Hey! Is that Kurama on TV?" Hinote pointed at the TV in shock.

"Turn up the volume." Yusuke said as everyone gathered around to listen.

"...the boy has adamantly refused to speak to the police without a lawyer present. Unfortunately, no lawyers will take the case out of fear of being attacked by mobs of angry children wanting to see the circus." The news reporter's voice came through the TV.

Kuwabara blinked, "What'd he do?"

"In case anyone missed that, this innocent looking Japanese boy –yes that is a boy-broke into the circus last night and released all of the animals. The monkeys then proceeded to attack a poor innocent girl. Let's go to the footage." The reporter looked to the side as the screen behind her enlarged with a video clip of Autumn shivering and ranting about monkeys.

Autumn shook her head, "That poor girl...I know exactly how she feels...I got attacked by monkeys last night too. Don't worry oh nameless girl! You are not alone!"

"Autumn, that's you." Hinote said.

Autumn stood up with her fists in the air, "Don't worry, You! You are not alone!"

"No. That's Autumn." Hinote tried to explain.

"What a coincidence! My name's Autumn too!"

Hinote shook his head, "Forget it."

"Well, let's get going." Flash started walking to the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Kuwabara asked.

Flash rolled her eyes. "The Police Station where they're holding Kurama, _duh_. Autumn and I are going to be his lawyers."

"Woohoo!" Autumn threw a fist up in the air.

Hinote ran in front of Flash, "_WAIT! _You can't!"

"Why not...?" Flash arched an eyebrow.

"You aren't dressed properly." Hinote nodded.

Flash and Autumn exchanged worried looks.

**Some time of changing later**:

"Wow. You two look like real girls now." Yusuke nodded.

Flash hit him with her metal pipe and Autumn with her rubber chicken of chicken-y DOOM. Hinote blinked, "Wow, I haven't seen that chicken in a long time...Where's it been?"

"I sent it for dry cleaning." Autumn answered.

"Why'd it take so long...?"

"Do _you_ know how to dry clean a rubber chicken?"

"No..."

"Neither did they."

"Oh..."

Flash sighed and looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a white blouse with a navy blue blazer jacket thing over it. She was wearing a short navy blue skirt. She had on skin colored pantyhose and black high heeled shoes. Her black hair was pulled up into a lawyerly doo and she had lens-less glasses on her face. She looked over at Autumn. She was wearing a similar outfit only in grey with a pink blouse. Hinote had been unable to persuade her to remove her cat ears. Flash then turned to glare at Hinote.

"I don't even want to know why you own two female lawyer outfits let alone why you were carrying them around with you."

Hinote laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. Autumn clapped her hands together. "Well! Let's go save Kura-Kura-chan!" she announced before turning around, taking a step forward, and falling flat on her face.

Flash turned shakily and started hobbling unsteadily towards the stairs. She got up a few of them before tumbling backwards into Autumn who had started trying to crawl up the stairs after falling twice. The two girls lay in a pile at the bottom of the stairs. Yusuke and Kuwabara were laughing hysterically. Hinote was trying hard not to. Hiei rolled his eyes before stepping around the girls to go upstairs.

"Ugh...how do people walk in these things!" Flash growled, sitting up and rubbing her head.

Autumn stood up and rubbed her back, "Oww..."

Hinote lost it and joined Kuwabara and Yusuke in laughing. Yusuke managed to choke out between laughs, "You'd better...learn to walk in those...fast...unless you want everyone to see under your skirts on live TV..."

Autumn and Flash blinked before turning slowly to glare. They yelled in unison as they hit him, "PERVERT!"

**Many bruises later**:

"Now, tell me about yourself." The Police department's psychologist said to Kurama, clasping his hands together on the table across from the kitsune.

"I already told you, I want a lawyer." Kurama mumbled.

The psychologist nodded, "And we'll find you one. But for now..."

The door suddenly slammed open and Hiei was pushed inside wearing a yellow and orange Jester's costume with a Jester's hat sitting on the top of his spiky hair. He was holding an old straight announcing horn which he lifted to his lips and blew into. He spoke in an emotionless voice, "Now presenting God and her pet mutt."

"Hi...Hiei!" Kurama blinked in shock.

Hiei stepped aside and threw some shiny confetti as Flash and Autumn walked shakily into the room. Flash was standing tall and proud while giving a beauty queen wave. Autumn was staring at her feet with her tongue hanging out of her mouth as she concentrated on not falling over. Kurama's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"Oh...my...Flash! Autumn! What are you two wearing?" Kurama stood up from the table and walked over to Autumn holding his hands out and staring at her.

After a moment, Flash waved a hand in front of his face, "Hey, pansy, stop checking out your girlfriend and get serious. You're being accused of a serious felony."

"What are you two doing in here?" The psychologist asked.

Autumn smiled at him, "We're here to be Shuichi's lawyers!"

"...You two are lawyers?" One of the police officers nearby asked.

"Cha. We wouldn't be here if we weren't." Flash responded in a 'wow, I can't believe how stupid you are' voice. She then snapped her fingers, "Jester!"

Hiei growled, "Yes?"

"Ahem?"

Hiei's eyes narrowed, "Yes _master_?"

Flash nodded, "Show these men our certificates."

Hiei handed two pieces of paper to the officer. The officer read them over. He then looked at Flash. "This is a piece of regular paper with the words 'Flash. You now be lawyer. So says Dirkan' printed upon it and this one...is the pedigree for a dog."

"Oh, no, those are Autumn's pedigree papers. And I left my official certificates in my other Jester." Flash pointed out the door to indicate a different place.

The psychologist shook his head, "Well, I guess it's alright. I mean, no one else is willing to take the case."

Autumn and Flash gave each other a high five. Unfortunately, this threw them off balance and they wound up toppling over onto the floor and dragging Kurama and Hiei down with them. All four of them just lay there in a twitching pile of people. A man walked into the room wearing a black suit with a boring grey tie. He was an ordinary looking man with ordinary combed black hair and plain brown eyes. He stared at the people on the floor. He then looked up at the psychologist.

"I hear the circus wrecker finally got a lawyer?"

"Yes! That would be us." Flash got to her feet quickly, pulling Autumn with her.

The man groaned, "Not you again..."

"Hey! It's Random Neighbor Man! Hiiii! I didn't know you were a lawyer! That's cool! Guess what? I'm a lawyer too!" Autumn smiled happily and hopped up and down a little.

Random Neighbor Man (a.k.a. Mr. Norman Smith) arched an eyebrow, "Oh really? How interesting...Well, let's get down to business. I'm here to offer your client a deal."

"No." Flash crossed her arms.

Mr. Smith looked at her, "No?"

"No. He's not taking a deal. We're going to prove he's innocent." Flash crossed her arms and nodded.

Mr. Smith, the Police Officer, Kurama, Hiei, and the Psychologist stared at Flash and said "You are?" at the same time that Autumn said "We are?"

Flash nodded, "Yes."

"And how do you plan to do that when he was arrested inside the building?" The psychologist asked.

Flash grinned evilly, "You'll see..."

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Dream: Auuggh. I wanted so badly to finish this story overnight but mom's yelling at me to sleep since school starts in less than a week. v.v So sorry! Anyway, I should have the second and final chapter up soon. Again, sorry!


	2. Baa and Order

(BEHOLD! The world will come to an end because...the author's note is not in script format! DUN DUN DUN!)

"Hi there! Today's a wonderful day, isn't it?" questioned the grinning chibi of Dream. She had dark hair and grayish-bluish-greenish eyes. She was wearing little black cat ears with red tufts of feathery material in the front on her head. She also wore a black T-shirt with the words 'Please don't hurt me' written on it in tiny letters in white and plain black pants. "I hope everyone's enjoying the holidays and is just extra super happy dappy wahoo today!"

The girl paused when she noticed the crickets chirping and the obvious lack of a cynical comment from her moody dragon companion. She looked around and called his name, but he did not answer. She looked under every piece of clutter and on top of every stack of boxes, but he was not there. She then began to panic. "Holy bajeezers! Zero's missing! Oh my god...what am I going to do? I can't have an author's note without Zero...it's so...so..._wrong!_ Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

And then all was silent for the chibi had been knocked unconscious by a lead pipe connecting with her skull. Moments later she would open her eyes to find herself looking at an annoyed brown-haired chibi girl wearing black sunglasses, a black tank top, and a man-skirt thing. She had a couple of necklaces and a bunch of bracelets and stuff. Dream sighed in relief. "Winter! Thank god! I was starting to think that I'd been kidnapped and tied to a chair in front of a computer in a dungeon and deprived of all sorts of necessities so that I would have no choice but to type furiously at my keyboard until my captor and her mob of angry medieval peasants sporting pitchforks and torches decided I'd fulfilled my obligations and let me go! Crazy, huh? ...wait a minute..."

Dream looked down at the ropes binding her to the chair and then up at the angry medieval mob surrounding her and Winter. "Oh my you! You kidnapped me and tied me to a chair in a dungeon in front of a-"

"Yeah, yeah...shut up." Winter waved a hand at Dream dismissively.

"But how could you do this? I thought we were friends!"

"We are..." Winter pointed and an anime flamey background thing appeared and there was an anime zoom-y out-y circle thingy...yeah...I don't understand what I'm trying to say either… "...but you also write the fanfics that I read! And I was thinking about how you haven't finished _The Law of the Jungle Gym_ and my shoulder angel mentioned that it's wrong to threaten my friends; you'll update eventually and all that goody two-shoes crap... So I gave her the boot, picked up an angry medieval mob with torches and pitchforks and kidnapped you."

Dream arched an eyebrow at the pointing finger that was inches away from her nose. "How'd you get into my house? The door was locked..."

"FOOL! I am God! God doesn't use doors!" Flash scratched her head. "Besides, since when do any of your fanfics conform to the laws of reality and common sense?"

"This is very true..."

Winter then pointed again and yelled, "Now get typing! Minions, poke her with your pitchforks until she writes!"

"GAH! Sharp!"

"MUAHAHAHA! Dance, my puppets, Dance!"

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**Baa and Order**:

When we last left our heroes they had bravely voyaged deep into the bowels of the Police Station in order to rescue the damsel in distress! –What's that? It's not a damsel? Oh...Ahem- To rescue the boy in distress! They had almost succeeded when an ordinary man stepped in their way! Will Autumn and Flash be able to triumph over their arch nemesis and rescue Kurama or will he be forced to clean toilets with nothing but an old moldy toothbrush and a pea-sized soap bar for the rest of his life? Stay tuned to find out!

"Okay, who invited this loser?" Flash asked.

Yusuke shrugged, "Well it wouldn't be right to have a fanfic without Kuwabara. Who else would we make fun of?"

"You," responded Autumn, not looking up from the book she was reading.

Yusuke glared at her, but his response was cut off by Flash. "No, not Kuwabara, I know who invited Kuwabara and you can bet that he's going to wish he was never born. I was asking about _him_."

Everyone turned to stare at the man nearby wearing a tuxedo with a red bowtie and holding a microphone in his hands. The man waved. The group turned and exchanged glances, wondering what to do with the strange man who continued to speak into the microphone he was holding as if his life depended upon narrating every action taking place. One of Flash's narrowed eyes visibly twitched. She stood up and walked closer to the man, raising her fist in the proc...MOMMY!

"Good. Now that _he_ is gone. How are we going to prove that Kurama's innocent?" Hinote asked of his God.

"_You_ are going to find me some witnesses who can testify to Kurama being insane while _I_ explain to Autumn how we're going to pull this off."

Hinote, Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara stared at Flash blankly. Autumn scratched her head. "Well, now that you mention it...he'd _have_ to be insane to hang around with _us_..."

"Exactly. Now all we need are people to prove he's insane and then boom. Case closed. Kurama gets poor. God gets paid. Everyone wins."

Yusuke rolled his eyes. "That sounds more like 'Flash wins'."

"If God's happy, the chance of getting randomly smitten with a bolt of lightning while walking innocently down the street greatly decreases and thus, everyone is happy. Therefore, if God wins, so does everyone else."

"I love Flash's logic," Hinote remarked.

Hinote's words triggered a little chip implanted into Autumn's brain. She smiled. "Golly, so do I, Hinote! But, what if I want to have a little bit of Flash's logic with me wherever I go, even if she's not around?"

The same chip triggered in Hinote's mind. He also smiled while taking on a corny infomercial tone and holding up a small black device. "Well, Autumn, you'll never have to worry about that again once you buy..._GodSpeak_ _v.2.Q9_ for just $849.99!"

"Wow! Tell me more!"

"With this handheld device, all of your questions will be answered! Simply turn it on and carry it around with you! God will give you advice about everything you're doing! And if you have a specific question to be answered, just ask _GodSpeak_ _v.2.Q9_, pay $20, and you'll get a semi-instantaneous response! –Questions may take up to three months to be answered-"

"Hm. I don't know, Hinote...It sounds awfully suspicious...Is this some kind of scam?"

"Of course it is...n't! God would never scam her minions! And if all of that isn't enough to convince you, for a small price of $40 a month, you can have access to the _GodSpeak_ network and stay connected with God and all of God's creatures! You can even have free and unlimited text and pictures too! –Unlimited text and pictures may cost an obscene amount of money and be limited, depending on God's mood-"

"Wow! Can I try it?"

"Sure!" Hinote handed the small device to Autumn.

Autumn held the device up to her mouth. "What should I eat for breakfast today?"

"Bah! You don't need food. Your money is better spent on God. Put it in an envelope and mail it to God right away," Flash's voice came from the device.

"Gee, that's a great idea! I'll mail my money to God!"

Hinote pointed straight and smiled. "Let's look at the testimonials of these happy customers!"

A screen came down and the image of a woman sitting on a park bench wrapped in a newspaper showed up. The woman smiled. "My _GodSpeak_ told me to relinquish all my Earthly possessions to God! Since then I've been living on the streets without eating a bite, but I feel great!"

"Ok, Flash, turn off the infomercial chips," Hiei snarled angrily, having already been conned into buying three _GodSpeak_s.

Flash pouted before pushing a button on her 'I control everything' remote. Hinote and Autumn sighed in relief and rubbed their heads. Hinote whistled. "That felt sooo weird..."

"Yeah, really...It felt just like when a song you really hate is stuck on repeat and no matter what you do, it won't stop playing. Really weird, yo." Autumn shivered.

Flash hissed, "GAH! Never say that word in front of God again!"

"What word?" Autumn blinked.

While Flash continued hissing at Autumn, Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged glances before shrugging and walking away. Hinote stared. "Where are they going?"

"They're going to find me witnesses. And you and Hiei will follow them and help them." Flash nodded.

"We will?" Hiei and Hinote asked. Flash pushed a button on her remote and a beep came from the two boys. Their eyes became blank and they turned to walk away. "We will obey."

Autumn sweat dropped. "When did you implant chips in our heads?"

"Remember that random party at the secret laboratory that I invited all of you to?"

"Yeah...oh. Rats. Harmony warned me not to go to that..." Autumn snapped her fingers. She looked over at Flash after a moment. "Well...?"

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to laugh insanely?"

Flash waved her hand dismissively. "I'm saving it until I can combine it with more insane laughter and scar people for life."

"Hey wait a minute..." Autumn frowned in concentration. "When did we leave the police station and how did we get back into our normal clothes?"

Flash looked around at the crowd of people in the amusement park that they were standing in. A guy in a squeaky panda costume giving out colorful balloons came over and put the string of a pink colored balloon into Flash's hand. She narrowed her eyes. "I work in mysterious ways...Now let's get out of here before I get sick."

"Kay!" Autumn turned and started marching away. She stopped and turned back when she noticed that Flash was not following.

The balloon panda had pulled her into a hug and was refusing to let go, despite her struggling. Flash was screaming curses and all sorts of unpleasantries which will haunt the dreams of all the little children for years to come. Autumn rubbed her chin. "Wait a minute...I know that panda..."

And thus Autumn glomped the panda, sending her and the panda squeaking to the ground…and Flash flying into the nearest souvenir stand. When she stood up, hats, T-shirts, and other assorted merchandise were all over her. She had one of those party noise blowers in her mouth. She was twitching and breathing heavily, making the little noise maker...make noise.

Autumn and the panda shrunk to chibi size as the sky darkened and the wind picked up. Ominous music began to play. Flash became super tall and all of the stuff burned to ashes as she raised her fists and roared in a booming voice, "**_Thou shalt not have physical contact with God!_**"

Random passersby stared in awe at the thunder that crackled in the background as Flash said this. Suddenly the ominous music sputtered and died and the background fell over. Flash blinked and looked behind her. Autumn took her hand off of the tape player and the panda moved away from the fallen background. They put their hands behind them and laughed nervously. Flash smacked her forehead. "I should have never given them free will..."

"Aw...it's okay Flash. Everyone makes mistakes...just not with as great a frequency as you." Autumn smiled widely unaware of the thin ice she was stomping on.

"I'll remember that, mutt..." Flash glared. She then pointed at the panda. "You know this goof?"

Autumn nodded and ripped off the panda head to reveal...a panda head! She blinked before growling and doing it again with the same result. Many panda heads later, Autumn screamed in irritation. Flash looked down at her watch. "You done yet? The trial is in two days and I don't think 'He's innocent because I'm God and I say so' is going to cut it this time."

"Yeah, I'm done. Anyway, this goof is Harmony's brother." Autumn pointed her thumb at the panda.

He gasped and took of the panda head to reveal a guy who appeared to be in his twenties with dagger-cut shoulder length black hair, clear blue eyes, and red fox ears with a black stripe on each. "Impossible! My disguise was perfect! How did you know it was me?"

"Your tail is sticking out of the back."

Dariken stretched to look over his shoulder. His red fox tail with a black stripe whose ends turned up in the middle, preventing it from being a complete ring, waved at him. "Oh..."

"AH HA! Perfect!" Flash slammed her fist into her open palm. "Dari! You can be our medical expert as to the mental health of Kurama!"

Autumn's demon half, Harmony, stared blankly at Flash. "But...Dari's an idiot..."

"Am not." Dari pouted and crossed his arms.

Harmony rolled her eyes. "You can't even spell your name right."

"Can too! Watch! P-Q-A-K-T-I...um...X!"

"You're joking, I hope..."

"...no..."

Harmony pointed at her brother and looked at Flash. "See? He's physically incapable of being an expert on _any_ subject, let alone mental health!"

"And are we physically capable of being lawyers?" Flash asked.

"Probably not..."

"But we're being lawyers anyway. So I don't see any reason why we shouldn't let Dari play psychologist." Flash changed the subject quickly, cutting off any protest that Harmony would have uttered. "Alright, let's go to the library and find books on insanity. We need to make this sound as believable as possible..."

Dari struck a pose and pointed into the air with his panda arm. "To the library!"

"Umm...Dari?" Autumn, back in control of her body, started to ask, "Don't you think you should lose the panda outfit?"

"What panda outfit?" Dari blinked, looking down at himself.

SUDDENLY! A cute, fluffy cat hopped out of the nearby bushes and began to laugh. "AHAHAHAH! Now I will **destroy** you and take my rightful place as the adorable fluffy animal mascot of this fanfic series!"

"Oh no!" gasped Dari, bringing his panda paws to his cheeks.

_But then! _A cantaloupe fell from the sky onto the cat's head! Then the cat fell over, our heroes shrugged, went to the library, and THE WORLD WAS SAVED ONCE AGAIN! Thanks to...Vitamin C! Let's not get scurvy, kids. D

**Meanwhile**:

"So, what are we looking for?" questioned Yusuke of his companions.

The others shrugged. Hinote scratched his head. "We need to find people to say that Kurama's crazy..."

"How about that guy?" asked Kuwabara pointing at a random bum (you may remember him from such fanfics as _April Fear's Day _and _When Good Dog Shows Go Fox_).

Hinote and Yusuke exchanged glances and then nodded. Hiei walked over and grabbed the bum's arm. He then started dragging him down the street. "Come on. We need to find more people."

"Yeah, but we actually need people who can prove Kurama's insane..." Yusuke stated.

Hinote snapped his fingers and announced his master plan, "To Japan!"

"Why?" asked the other three boys and the bum.

Hinote's eyes shone with mischief and he had a smirk on his lips. Dark bars appeared on his face, causing the camera to zoom in on his eyes as he spoke. "We're going to kidnap Kurama's little brother..."

Everyone in the nearby vicinity gasped. A rat dropped his cheese and a cat yowled as she ran away. A car's brakes screeched as it veered off course (to avoid hitting a snail that was crossing the street) and crashed into a fire hydrant. The airbags inflated, pushing the driver up against the back windshield of the car with his cheek against the glass and his hands on either side of his face. And the ugly duckling became a swan. Chaos! Utter madness, I say! And amidst it all stood Hinote, laughing insanely.

And then the camera quickly zoomed back to Hinote as he stopped laughing and stood there with his tongue hanging out of his mouth like a puppy. "So what are we waiting for? Let's go, hey?"

"Sure, why not. Let's break some laws in order to get the charges dropped against Kurama for breaking laws." Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Duh, Hiei," began Yusuke, "don't you know that multiple wrongs make a right?"

Hiei shrugged. "Well, it's not like I care about ningen laws anyway."

"That's the spirit!" Hinote grinned. He pointed down the street. "So let's go get Zero so he can make a portal and take us straight to Japan so that we can avoid public transportation since we don't have much time."

"Hey, then we can get Zero to testify!" Kuwabara, for lack of having said anything in the past eleven paragraphs, announced.

"Testify to what?" questioned a voice from behind them.

With a jump and a gasp, they all turned to look. There was Zero. Or...at least they thought it was Zero. He had his hip-length hair down, making him look very feminine. He was wearing a tight white tank top with 'Hooters' (Don't own) written on it in orange and very short shorts. Two super mega filled water balloons – one pink and one blue – were stuffed into his shirt, giving him the appearance of having a chest. His wings and tail were missing and there was makeup on his face. The boys stared in awe at the figure in front of them. Even Hiei's mouth was hanging open in shock. The bum cat called.

Hinote gulped and managed to choke out, "Zero?"

"Yes, it's me. And no, I'm not wearing this by choice. Flash said that if I want to remain in her dimension, I need to pay rent. Normally I'd tell her to go jump off a cliff or something, but she threatened me with _pies_. Homemade pies. Pies made by _Autumn_ with ingredients that not even Autumn can identify. Then she and Autumn forced me to get a job at this stupid restaurant and now here I am."

"Oh...my...god..." Yusuke finally managed to speak.

Zero glared at the boy with his mismatched violet and red eyes. "Stop staring at me."

Kuwabara whistled. "That's one _hot_ babe, guys."

"I'd hurt you...but I can't breathe in this thing," growled Zero.

Hinote shook his head to rid himself of his stupor. "Anyway, Zero, Kurama's in trouble with the law and we need you to testify that he's insane."

"But...he's _not_ insane..."

Hinote shook his head. "It doesn't matter. And we need you to take us to Japan."

"Alright, but first I need to find Autumn and Flash and get my clothes back." Zero crossed his arms, causing his water balloons to stick out more.

Yusuke shook his head furiously. "No way! If we go back without more witnesses, Flash will have our heads!"

"Well, I'm certainly not walking around in _this_..." Zero protested.

Hinote looked across the street at a secondhand novelty shop. "Hmm..."

**Elsewhere in that plane of existence**:

"OK. So, we've decided." Flash closed the book she was looking at and folded her arms on the table as she looked across it at Autumn. "Candy is yummy."

Autumn crossed her arms seriously and nodded. Dari stood up and yelled in triumph, "Eureka!"

He was promptly shushed by a bunch of people and a crabby librarian. He sat back down sheepishly and pushed the book to Autumn. Autumn scanned the paper. "Wow! This might actually work! This is great, Dari! I didn't know you could read! I'm so proud..."

"Of course I can read. All self-respecting demons can read in many different languages. I happen to be fluent in several human languages as well as demon ones." Dariken nodded.

"You were just looking at the pictures, weren't you?" Autumn asked with narrowed eyes.

Dariken nodded and shrank into his chair shyly. Flash took the book from Autumn and smirked at the words. "This is perfect. They'll have to let Kurama go for sure! Group huddle!"

And with that, the three of them slid to the floor and huddled together under the table to discuss their plans in whispers. Sure, random people in the library stared at them, but they're used to it. After a while of huddling, a voice broke the silence. "Um...what are you guys doing?"

"Gah!" The three of them jumped in surprise, banging their heads on the table.

Hinote sweat dropped and laughed nervously. When Autumn crawled out from under the table, she gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh...my...Flash...! It's...it's..."

"Who is it, Autumn?" Dari asked, eagerly looking around.

Autumn pointed at Zero. After refusing to wear his Hooters uniform any longer, Hinote had gotten him to wear a repulsive lizard costume. It was red with black stripe-y things. The stitches were blatantly obvious and one of the eye pupils was hanging on a string from the eye. Zero's face was visible in the lizard's neck. Autumn suddenly ran over and glomped the poor dragon. "It's Harold von WanterNougat HopperWaffle XXVII!"

"Yay!" exclaimed Dari as he, too, piled on top of Zero.

Flash looked at the bum, Kurama's brother, and Zero. She turned to Hiei. "Are these my witnesses?"

"Yeah," responded Hiei.

"Excellent…" Flash wore an evil smirk with her hands together in front of her making evil finger movements. "All we have to do now is rehearse your testimonies and then we're all set for my victory in court."

Autumn stood up suddenly. "WAIT!"

"What's your problem, Hippie?" Autumn and Flash's friend OkageHime appeared out of nowhere to ask.

Hinote stared at her. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I can be anywhere I want to be, foo'!" OkageHime shook her fist at the boy. She then waved her fingers in a spooky manner as she started fading away. Even once she was gone her voice was still heard, "I'm just awesome like that."

"O...k...That was the freakiest thing I've ever seen..." Zero blinked rapidly.

Flash smiled proudly. "I love O."

"Me too," Autumn agreed. "Anyway, we need to get one more witness for the trial...A witness so great and powerful that if it had a name I would dare not speak it...A witness that says...baa..."

The group members exchanged worried glances before following Autumn from the library to find this mystery witness.

**And so, the trial!**

"Call your first witness." The Judge was a woman with hair that was going white and little glasses. She had a sweet Grandma look about her but she was the meanest judge this side o' Jupiter.

"The defense calls Mr. Harold von WanterNougat HopperWaffle XXVII to the stand, your honor," Flash said.

All heads turned to watch Zero stomp moodily to the stand in his lizard costume. He was sworn in and then Autumn hobbled up to question him. Zero glared and crossed his arms. Autumn smiled. "Hi Harold!"

"...Hi," responded Zero suspiciously.

Autumn's smile widened. "Is it true that you know the defendant?"

"Yeah, we're kind of friends," Zero answered.

Autumn eyed the lizard-dragon-thing suspiciously. "Oh _are_ you...?"

Zero sighed and rolled his eyes. Autumn paced back and forth in front of Zero. She stopped suddenly, pointed at him and said in one breath, "Where were you on Poopsicle 83rd, -1123.7?"

"That...isn't a date..." Zero arched an eyebrow.

Autumn hissed. "Answer the question."

"Oh fine. You forced me to go to work."

Autumn nodded mockingly. "And _where_ do you work?"

"Please don't make me answer..." Zero looked mortified. Upon seeing the Judge's stern gaze, he whimpered and mumbled, "Hooters..."

"Excuse me," Flash smirked, "I can't hear you over here and I'm sure the jury can't either."

Zero glared daggers at her. He then closed his eyes and said louder, "Hooters."

"Ah ha!" Autumn ignored the laughter filling the courtroom in order to continue, "There you have it, folks. One of Shuichi's good friends, a male, works at Hooters. He must be insane. And thus, Shuichi is also insane for having him as a friend. Your witness Random Neighbor Man!"

Mr. Norman Smith stood up and walked over to Zero as Autumn sat down. Kurama leaned over to whisper in her ear, "You guys got Zero a job at Hooters?"

Flash whacked him with her briefcase. "_I_ got Zero the job. Autumn did nothing!"

"Why do you have a briefcase? Surely you don't have notes in there..." Kurama rubbed his head.

Flash opened the briefcase to reveal her entire manga collection. Autumn narrowed her eyes and pointed at a book. "Hey...that one's mine; and that one too!"

"And thus, indirectly, they are mine." Flash nodded, taking a book and reclining in her chair to read it.

Norman cleared his throat. "Mr. umm…von WanterNougat HopperWaffle XXVII…Are you friends with the defense attorneys?"

"No," Zero responded sternly.

"Objection!" Autumn called, standing up. When the judge motioned for her to continue, she gestured at the dragon. "The witness is lying, your honor."

The judge turned to Zero. "Witness is advised to be aware of the fact that lying on the stand is a prosecutable crime."

"Oh fine…" Zero groaned. "Yes, unfortunately, I am friends with them."

Mr. Smith nodded. He addressed the judge, "Motion to strike this witness' testimony from the records, your honor. There's no guarantee that he wasn't bribed to come in here and lie."

"Objection!" Autumn stood up again. She then blinked and scratched her head.

Flash let out an exasperated sigh when Autumn poked her. She set down the manga and stood up. "Must I do everything myself? Your honor, I object to the people's motion on the legal basis that I am God. You don't want your new convertible to be burned by an unexplained shower of holy fire, now _do_ you?"

"Your honor, this girl is clearly unfit to be in this courtroom. She's violating separation of church and state." Mr. Smith objected.

"Ok, fine. I object to the people's motion because the people is a **_moron_**. Happy?" Flash glared daggers at the man.

"I agree; people's motion is dismissed." The judge looked boredly at her hands, ignoring all the protests from Mr. Smith.

Norman grumbled and turned back to Zero. "Now, this job at Hooters, was this your idea?"

"_NO_," insisted Zero forcefully, "Those monsters forced me to work there!"

"Monsters?"

Zero pointed at Autumn and Flash. They were struggling with their fake halos in an attempt to put on an innocent and angelic appearance but the things refused to light. Norman nodded. "Therefore, you aren't insane?"

"No, no I am not."

"No further questions, your honor."

"Redirect, your honor," said Flash, standing up. The judge nodded.

Flash walked up to Zero. "So, these…monsters…How did they manage to force you into a job like that?"

"They threatened me…"

"So you'd say that they're insane?"

"Yes."

"Then, why do you hang around with them? I mean, you _live_ in one of their houses! Why would you do something like this?"

"I've asked myself that question many times."

"But you don't have an answer for yourself?"

"No."

"Because you're crazy?"

"What? No!"

Flash was facing the jury. She held up a hand to count on her fingers. "Let's review. You were forced to get a disturbing and humiliating job by two girls, **yet** you still consider them friends **and** you live with one of them. You really expect the court to believe you're not crazy?"

"I suppose I might be...not as sane as other people…"

"Ah-ha! No further questions." Flash sat down looking quite pleased with herself.

"Witness may step down." The judge announced. Zero hobbled away. "Call your next witness."

Autumn stood. "The defense calls…Mr. Bum to the stand, your honor."

"YEAAH! A'right! Les git it _on_, baby!" The Bum yelled excitedly as he ran up to the stand.

Autumn coughed and walked over to the stand. "Mr. Bum…You've seen the defendant around your hometown before, haven't you?"

"Yis I have, lill missy"

"And what did you witness the defendant doing?"

"Weeell…dis one time I saws him wit you and a bunch o otha kids messin around wit a horde of candy hungry child-ren. Thens I saws him chasin imagin'ry critters round da neighborhood. Ands thens I saws him carry'n a huge bag fulla groceries five miles in da rain." The bum scratched his chin in deep thought.

"And what did you think upon witnessing all of these things?"

"I thoughts da guy wuz nuts."

"Thank you. No further questions, your honor." Autumn walked back to her seat and ate it O! No, really she sat down.

Mr. Norman Smith walked up to the stand. "What makes you so sure that it was the defendant?"

"Wells, I dunt like ta make genralzations, but dat town don't gots many redheads, y'know? Specially not redheaded guys dat looks like girls, y'know?"

Norman nodded. "And, did you ever see him on any other occasions?"

"Yeah, I seen im lotsa times."

"And you only saw him behaving strangely those three times?"

"Might've been more. Mosta da times, I'm too busy guardin me wife from the firemen."

"From the firemen?"

"They keeps telling me she ain't no wife. She a fire hydrant, they says. But I know they jist wants her fir demselves," said the bum in a tone of voice which indicated that he was revealing a well hidden secret.

Norman blinked warily at the man. "…No further questions, your honor."

"Witness will kindly leave my courtroom. I'm sick of your smell." The judge growled.

The bum ran off to go and be with his wife. Autumn cleared her throat. "The defense would like to call…Doctor Dari to the stand."

Dariken walked towards the stand with a regal gait. He was dressed in a British styled suit with a monocle and a pipe (a _bubble_ pipe). He seated himself on the stand and was sworn in. Autumn walked up to him. "Doctor, what are your credentials on the matter of psychology?"

Dari spoke in a British accent, "I am very well versed in all matters of literature on the subject. Also, I attended numerous acclaimed colleges to learn the processes of psychologizing."

"Objection, you honor! This is clearly a hoax," protested Norman Smith.

The judge rolled her eyes. "Do you have any papers, Dr. Dari?"

"Why yes. I have numerous papers." Dari pulled some blank papers from his sleeves. "I have blank papers and lined papers and papers with words on them—ah ha! See? I have just psychologized you!"

"Objection overruled. Witness is obviously legitimate."

Norman Smith would have protested further but a paper airplane flew over and hit his head. He unfolded it to reveal a chibi doodle of Flash sticking her tongue out at him with the words 'HA! In your face, heathen!' written nearby. He arched an eyebrow and looked at Flash. She smirked evilly before turning back to her manga.

Meanwhile, Autumn had started the questioning. "And do you believe the defendant to be insane?"

"Most definitely; any sane person knows the difference between a mongoose and a goosemon!" Dari concluded with finality in his voice.

"No further questions." Autumn walked back to the table.

Norman approached the stand. "Dr. Dari, was it? What is avoidant personality disorder?"

"That would be a rare variety of weasel inhabiting the vast rainforests of Antarctica in the winters which flies north to spend its summers in George Washington's nose on Mount Rushmore." Dari stated matter-of-factly.

Norman gestured at the witness. "Your honor, _please!_ This is obviously a hoax."

"Witness is correct. People will ask his next question." The judge responded.

"Forgive me for saying so, your honor, but I'm starting to get the feeling that you've already made up your mind to dismiss everything I say…"

"Exactly. Ask your next question."

Norman grumbled, but decided to do as he was told. "Doctor, can you tell me how long you've known the defendant?"

"I have known the boy since he was two hundred and fifty (that's how old he says he was, anyway)."

"The defendant believes he's over two hundred years old?"

"Indeed." Dari thought for a moment. "How large are your buttocks?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your buttocks look nice and plump. How large are they?"

Norman had a disgusted face. The judge howled in delight and leaned forward with a smirk. "People will answer the witness' question."

"I…I don't know how large they are…" Norman was flabbergasted.

Kurama turned to his laughing lawyers. "What's going on?"

"I told Dari to do something outrageous to throw off the jury. Besides, this is going to look _hilarious_ in the records." Flash responded.

"They look so squishy. May I give them a squeeze?"

Dari leaned forward with a goofy grin causing Norman to run back to his table. "No further questions!"

Dari left after being beckoned by the laughing judge. Autumn stood up. "The defense calls as its next witness…Shuuichi Hatanaka."

"You kidnapped my brother?" Kurama blinked.

Shuuichi walked up to the stand and sat down. He looked around fearfully. When he saw Autumn he cheered up and waved. She waved back before beginning to question him. "What's your relationship with the defendant?"

"Huh?"

"That guy." Autumn pointed at Kurama.

"Onii-san!" Shuuichi looked back at Autumn and pointed. "He's my step-brother."

"So you know how he acts better than anyone else, right?"

"Hai."

"Tell us about him."

"He's afraid of…um…rabbits? I think that's the translation of usagi…"

Autumn pointed at Kurama. "Ah-ha! He's afraid of bunnies! He _must_ be crazy! No further questions."

The judge looked at Norman. He was leaning back in his chair with his hands over his face and his glasses on the table in front of him. "No questions, your honor," he mumbled. The judge nodded to Shuuichi and the boy left the stand.

"The defense calls as its final witness…Witness X!" Autumn pointed at the door with both hands.

The entire courtroom gasped as one and turned to look. The doors swung open and an ordinary sheep walked in. The sheep shuffled up to the stand and sat down. When he was sworn in he started to eat the bible…and some lady fainted. Anyway, Autumn began the questioning without paying attention to the lady. "So, Witness X, tell us about yourself."

The sheep blinked. "Baaa."

"Oh? Sounds fascinating!" Autumn nodded. "Now, what do you know of this situation?"

"Baaaaa."

Another gasp spread through the courtroom. Norman cast a puzzled glance around the room. His eyes settled upon Kurama who appeared to be as confused about the whole sheep mess as he was. Kurama returned his stare and they shrugged at each other. Meanwhile Autumn was concentrating upon the sheep's words. "That's fascinating, Witness X. No further questions."

Norman stood up and coughed into his hand. "Yes well…Umm…'Witness X'…What is your real name?"

"Baa."

"I see…"

"And…where were you when these events took place?"

"Baa."

"Indeed…" Norman seemed obviously at a loss of what to do. "And, how are we to believe the testimony of a farm animal when it isn't even spoken in a language which we can understand?"

Another gasp issued from the courtroom. Autumn stood and slammed her hands down on the table. "**_Objection_**, your honor! People has insulted the witness!"

"Agreed. People is treading on thin ice. One more misstep and I will be holding you in contempt of court."

Norman stared at the judge. He pointed at the witness. "The witness is a sheep! The defense lawyers are making a mockery of the legal system and you're letting them! Sheep can't be witnesses!"

"And why not? Sheep are people too, y'know!" Autumn crossed her arms and glared at him.

"No they are not. Sheep are sheep. They cannot be witnesses because they don't speak any human language! They speak sheep! And not only that, they get eaten by people! They're inferior!" Norman was definitely going crazy.

"Yeah thanks a lot, pal," said the sheep in a thick manly voice. He hopped down from the stand and walked towards the doors. Before exiting he turned around and patted his chest with his hoof. "That hurts in here, man!"

Norman's eye was twitching when the door slammed shut. The judge glared at him. "People is now in contempt of court. Take your seat."

"But, your honor…!" Norman began in a whining tone.

"I don't like the people's tone. Bailiff!" The judge turned to the bailiff. "Duct tape the people's mouth closed."

Norman's attempts to protest seemed futile as the bailiff duct taped his mouth and then proceeded to tape the poor man to his chair. The bailiff then walked away happily. The judge nodded. "Thank you, bailiff."

Flash stood up and cleared her throat. "Your honor, before the people calls its first witness, I'd like to request the chance to address the jury."

"That's only fair since the people chased your witness away." The judge nodded.

Flash walked over to face the jury. She looked at all of the bored and/or sleeping faces sitting in front of her and smiled. Oh, her secret plan would work perfectly. It would work so perfectly that she would be hailed as the greatest lawyer-God ever to set foot on the earth. And thus people would love her. They would sacrifice things to her. Like coffee! She would get lots of coffee. FINALLY! Creating humanity would _finally_ pay off.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," began Flash, "I'm sure you all have to go to the bathroom or would like to get back to napping so I will keep this short…Why aren't you at home playing with your kids? Or feeding your dog? Or sitting on your couch scarfing down ice cream after a heartbreaking breakup? Nothing's stopping you. You think you have to be here as jurors? Well, there is no here. This isn't a real trial; it's all in your minds. So go out there and reclaim your lives! Put your foot down and say 'NO' to being forced into imaginary courtrooms! Go eat that ice cream!"

Flash finished with her eyes closed and a dramatic pose which including pointing at the door. The jurors started mumbling amongst themselves. Norman Smith attempted to object through the duct tape. Autumn was busy sobbing to Kurama about how unfair life was for sheep. Kurama, meanwhile, had an arched eyebrow as he waited to see if Flash's little speech would work. Flash opened an eye without releasing her stance. She noticed the lack of movement and rolled her eyes. "Oh get out of here before I smite you."

The jurors shrugged and left. The judge blinked. She picked up her gavel and hit it against the little stand thing after she finished speaking. "In light of the fact that the jury just left, I have no choice but to declare a mistrial. Go home now."

"WOO!" Flash and Autumn cheered, attempting to give each other a high-five but failing miserably due to their high-heeled shoes.

Kurama smiled gratefully down at his pile of lawyers. "I must admit, I'm quite surprised you two pulled that off."

"Of course we pulled it off, Kurama," said Flash standing up. "God always wins."

Muffled screams were heard and everyone turned to watch Norman Smith being dragged off to spend some time in jail for harassing the poor sheep. After the door had slammed shut behind him, the celebration resumed in the courtroom. Autumn pulled the still lizard clad Zero into a silly dance. Soon all of the people in the courtroom were dancing. And, for whatever reason, Hiei wound up being held up and thrown around the room by happy dancing people while he screamed curses and plagues at them. Amidst it all was Flash watching with an emotionless face and Kurama sweat dropping and debating whether he should try and help Hiei.

"Oh, here's that money you requested from God," said Flash as she dug an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to Kurama.

Kurama smiled. "Thank you, Flash. That's very nice of y—"

"Why thank you, Kurama! How generous of you to pay me for saving your butt from jail! You're such a nice minion," Flash said, smiling as she took back the envelope and walked away.

Kurama sighed down at his once again empty hand which symbolized his once again penniless status. Shuuichi walked up to him. "Onii-san?"

"Hai?"

"You need new friends."

"I know, Shuuichi. Believe me, I know."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dream: Well, it was only like…seven months late? Not bad. Oh for anyone that needs this: Onii-san means big brother; Hai means yes; I think that's all the Japanese… Oh! And for anyone with a livejournal, I made a lj community for the fanficking. It's my homepage link in my profile so check it out. You don't need a lj to look at it, so check it out even if you don't have one. K? Neat.

Oh, and by the way, yes, Zero's missing. I haven't decided what I'll be doing with this yet, but stay tuned for future developments of this new little side plot thing…(I may do something in the lj community so that might be a good reason to go there hint hint wink wink)


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